god is male. get over it.

i can't even imagine why this is still a topic that is up for debate. oh yeah, because women will debate anything. sooooo, here is the evidence:

1. if god were female women would be able to stand when they pee. not a big deal? yeah, try telling me that next time you're balancing your drunk ass over a nasty commode, holding your purse, jacket, and toilet paper in one fucking hand.

*Note: fellas that's why the hell they go to bathroom in packs...they need the help. you're welcome.

2. if god were female women would be better at useful things like, killing wild animals, fixing stuff, hooking up cable, etc. i'm sorry, being able to...shit, i can't even think of anything useful about women right now. next.

3. if god were female she would have figured out a way to make babies be born when they were the size of sea monkeys and made men squeeze them out like a damn kidney stone.

4. look, i've got three sisters, a mother, and i had two wonderful grandmothers, so i won't even delve too deeply into this, but, periods...yeah. nuff said.

5. if god were female sleeping with a lot of dudes would not make you a slut.

6. if god were female breasts would actually stay firm as you got older. (and if you're wondering why a male god would have men become impotent as we get older, just call it self preservation. imagine if every guy's obituary started with, robert smith died today at the age of 94, while bedding a 22 year old stripper. not a good look.

7. if god were female it wouldn't be required that women put on shoes to make them taller, bras to make them bigger, spandex to make them smaller, and makeup to make their faces look different, in order to find THEMSELVES attractive.

8. if god were female people would go to WNBA games.

9. if god were female Oprah and Martha Stewart wouldn't be so special.

10. last but not least, if god were female WOMEN WOULDN'T EVEN EXIST...her jealous, hating ass would have just kept Adam all to herself.