why i date strippers.

the question has been posed to me numerous times. more times than i care to remember actually. and it's a question that is so loaded, that i usually don't take much time to actually answer it because i know that people already have their preconceived ideas about it before they even ask. but i thought i'd create this opportunity to actually spend some time on it, and hopefully give a few of you L7's out there a little peak into the dim dark space that is my mind. here goes.

why date a stripper? well we can cover off on the more obvious and superficial reasons first. actually, let me begin by inserting a little disclaimer here. i live in the bay area, a major metropolitan center. because of that fact, the strippers that i'm referring to are of a certain quality that you just don't find in...oh say, oklahoma. i did briefly date a stripper in arizona, but she was the first one, and i've raised my standards tremendously since then. she was also built like a brick shithouse, and had the softest skin known to man...but i digress. so anyway, it is with that perspective with which you should approach the information to follow. so, why? well strippers are hot. and while a large percentage of them do have children, they are still young enough that there bodies tend to bounce back pretty quickly, and the little tikes (that's their kids, not them) offer an excuse to go to chucky cheese every once in a while. bonus! another reason is that you get to tell your buddies you're dating a stripper. now i don't care what any guy on earth says, any man with any stones whatsoever has tried to get a stripper's phone number when visiting a strip club. and the guys who don't have stones enough to try...dream. hence, whether he is a CEO or the fry cook at Micky D's, you get major props for accomplishing what so many have failed at. next is just the shear adreniline rush that is experienced when you drop your stripper girlfriend off at work. imagine for a second taking jessica alba to paramount studios, kissing her goodbye, and telling her to have a good day at work. yeah...it's like that. disagree? my response is respectfully, if you haven't done it, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. on this next point, i'm not going to speak for every guy, but for me there is just sumthin amazing about being in room full of guys who would cut off fingers just to have your girl have a real conversation with them. sure most of them are thinking a whole bunch of other filthy ass things, but we're guys, that's what guys do no matter where they are. if dudes aren't thinking about what position they would like to have your girl in...she's probably ugly. so that about covers the very obvious reasons to date a stripper. oh wait, i almost forgot...they've always got change for a twenty. zeng.

so among the less obvious reasons to date a stripper, i will shift gears and specifically talk about myself. i'm sure that every guy has his own little secret things that he particularly enjoys, but here are mine. strippers tend to be very physically oriented people, and obviously much of their lives centers around their bodies. consequently you will notice that a lot of these things relate to that. so on my first ever date with a stripper, she flashed me coming out of a 7-eleven. we had just finished dinner! (not at the 7-eleven. give me a little credit, i took her to ihop.) granted i was a little put off by it at the time, mostly because the guys in the car next to me thought is was for them, but it's sumthin that i've grown to appreciate. along with that i just love a girl who is cool enough with her body, or at least desensitized enough to not have to put me through all of those, "am i fat?" moments. fellas, you've never known a joy that exists like the joy from answering that question with "babe, you made $3000 last night, who the hell cares!" and then you both laugh. in a word...perfection. what else? man there is so much. they'll watch the game, they have flexible hours, and i have yet to have to experience an ugly pantie day when dating a stripper. the list goes on and on. last but no least though is my all time favorite thing about dating strippers. they are always down to fight. i love a girl that will swing first and ask questions later...shit, maybe never. and even though on the outside you would never think that a girl who is that pretty would be willing to throw down, sumthin about the mentality of a stripper...oh shit let's just be real, they lack a little home training. on top of that, i think that fist fighting in the locker room is almost part of the job description, making them well practiced.

so there it is, a little more insight into the "why" of dating strippers. i'm sure some of you out there are thinking that i could find all that in a "regular" girl, and might still be wondering why i would choose to date a stripper instead. well when it all comes down to it i guess my best reason for dating strippers is...because i can.