cornbread...pick it up!

so it's been brought to my attention that there are gentlemen out there who need some help in the dating department. now while i can't for the life of me coach any guy on how to be a good boyfriend, stay faithful, or maintain civility in a relationship, I CAN HELP YOU GET A DATE. my history in this area is storied and prolific. so i thought i'd impart some of my wisdom on the masses in a new weekly segment where i will post a pick up line every friday that i have successfully used in the previous week to meet a girl. you then can use the line to get yourself a date. pretty sweet, right...and it's free!

here are my guarantees regarding the posted pick-up lines:

1. i will only pick up girls who most men would rate at least an 8...which face it fellas, is probably better than you're doing now. (i'll try and post pictures when possible so that you can judge for yourself.) i'm not really into blondes so you'll have to give me some leeway there.
2. i did not get slapped in the face when using the line.
3. i have called the number that i got, and it works.
4. most times i will try to have at least met the girl for drinks, thus proving her willingness to hang out, but this will have to be subject to my availability that week.
5. i'm a quality, not quantity kind of guy, but in the event that i get a few number i'll just describe who i feel is the best of the bunch.

pretty simple right.

now guys, you will notice that some of the lines might sound a little cooky, but trust me, the humor is part of the appeal. always try and smile, and have fun with it. if the line doesn't fit you perfectly, feel free to tweak it a little. it's about being natural, so make it fit you. all right...GAME ON!

oh, one more thing, i ALWAYS start off by introducing myself. it helps break the ice, establish a little rhythm in the conversation, and keeps you from sounding like some freak with a practiced one liner.


LINE OF THE WEEK:

so, i live with my mom, drive a mercedes, and am hung like a fairly large dog...only it's not quite that pink.


GIRL STATS:

name: angela (same as my evil ex, but i shall proceed in the name of science.)
age: 24
education: college graduate
race: filipino
height: 5'3"
cup size (roughly): B+


i've been on this kick lately of kind of spouting off my resume, because i'm kind of over the beating around the bush tactics. if you happen to not live with your mom, or you don't drive a mercedes this line can still work for you. it's so outlandish that when she asks if that's true you just laugh it off and tell her no, that you noticed she had a lovely smile, and wanted to see it again. (BONUS LINE!) CHA-CHING! angels sing, champagne (and digits) rain down from the heavens.

well that's it for this week. happy hunting gentlemen. have fun, and remember, "girls are like wild animals, they're just as afraid of you as you are of them. but who the hell knows what they're going to do...so it's better if you attack first."