shit load.

it happens to me quite often. that i meet people who are both so completely full of shit, and so hopelessly unaware of that fact that i wonder..."could i be that full of shit, and just not know it."

i mean i seem to have some of the same characteristics as these people. i am relationshipless, and convinced that it's someone else's fault. i often am inarguably certain that i am right, and can formulate a very precise train of thought that will illuminate this fact to most anyone. lots of people DON'T like me. i have not one, but a few very nearly pathological personality traits.

so i look at them, in all of their completely shit filled splendor and i think, are they...me? and honestly i don't have any answers.

most of my day i feel like i'm watching american idol, where somehow, 25 million people, who also happen to NOT have record deals, and are coincidentally tone deaf, vote on who the next "musical sensation" should be. i am awe struck by the fact that all of these people think that being able to hear makes their opinions of music valid. so there i am, going through my days equally awe struck by the fact that people think that because they are competent enough to keep a roof over their head and make it through their days without meeting with an untimely demise from a tragic pencil sharpening accident, that somehow they "know things" about living. i mean there are people with downs syndrome living full productive lives, but you're not gonna let them map out your future are you?

someone's opinion has to be wrong...right? but clearly it's not going to be yours.

i was told when i was a child that one of the most important traits to possess in life is the ability to "know what you don't know." this seems to be lost on most people i come across. and most people i come across would probably say the same thing about me. the problem i have with that is that most people aren't as smart as me. sadly, they would probably say the same thing. which brings me back to my original problem. could i be as full of shit as everyone else?

i sure hope not, cause they really seem dumb.