i wanna teach!

so this blog is kind of about two things. actually not "kind of" it is about two things. i'm taking the CBEST this weekend. which for those of you who have had real careers your whole life is the...shit, i don't remember what the letters stand for, but it's the test you have to take if you want to be a teacher in cali or oregon. so yeah, i'm taking it, because from time to time i'm struck by the urge to mess up little kids’ minds. i'm not studying or anything because i run around telling people how smart i am all the time, so i figured i should be able to pass this shit without studying. and if in the horrible event i don't pass, i will definitely reconsider telling people how smart i am in the future. so there's that.

the other thing that this blog is about is dudes hitting on girls. now i don't profess to be some don juan or anything, i have definitely come to realize in the last couple weeks that my "game" is pretty weak, and if i didn't happen to look like this i definitely wouldn't be able to convince anyone to date me just because i was charming and funny. but i do at least pride myself on not dropping any pitiful ass cornball lines on women when i talk to them. that is, i don't think they're pitiful or cornball.

so anyway, i'm at the gym last night and i see this girl who is incredible looking. which isn't that big a deal, considering i work out at a gym in L.A. that is famous for being a meat market...which i imagine is difficult status to acquire in L.A...or not. but this girl in particular is pretty damn amazing. blonde (i don't even like blondes), maybe 5'9", golden brown skin (but not overcooked), and she has one of the most perfect boob jobs i've ever seen. they're just fake enough so that she can wear this red backless halter top with no bra, but not fake enough that the boobs look like she mugged the ball girl at Wimbledon and tried to hide the evidence in her shirt. so short story long, she's hot. she disappears for a while, and as i'm leaving i see her sitting with her girlfriend in the front of the gym, no doubt trying to get noticed, and it works. except not in the way she intended. so this guy comes up to her/them, and he is one of the dorkiest guys i've seen in a while. late thirties, crazy long frizzy hair, body of guy who was making his first trip to the gym, you get the idea. so let me be clear, i give him credit for even talking to this girl, cause i know i wasn’t going to, but the next thing i know i hear him say, "hey, you guys come here often?" WHAT!?!?! SERIOUSLY!?!? i was a half second from grabbing this fucker for a regroup. the look on the girls' faces was like "huh, did you really just waste your time saying that to us...AND you look like that?" couldn't believe it! so yeah, as i laughed all the way home, i considered starting a school for cats who have even less game than me.