why women drive like crap: an exposition

so the short answer is because they don't have penises. (is that the plural of penis? peni? never had to refer to a group of them before.) anyway, so yes women drive like crap because they're missing that little (or big) member between their legs.

think about it. having a penis teaches guys all kinds of useful things that translate into being better drivers. first and foremost it teaches us to control speed and proximity. these are the two main culprits contributing to women driving poorly. you have all seen the women who feel slighted on the freeway and speeds up for about a hundred yards until she's in the ass of the car in front of her, then has to slam on the brakes. she will often repeat this maneuver over and over again for god only knows what reason. well i know! it's because she has no penis. just think about how women have sex. it's "slow, slow, slow. harder, deeper, faster, faster. slow, slow, slow. faster, faster, faster." that's exactly how they drive. there's no rhyme or reason to it. no particular cadence. just pure id.

now on the other hand, think about how guys have sex (the good one's anyway). we have to pace ourselves. we have to be in tune with our surroundings. we can't just go ramming away at whatever is in front of us, with no regard for the speed that the given situation may call for. if it's a tight squeeze we have to carefully pick our way through the terrain. if the road, or girl, happens to be wide open, then we can swerve about with little worry of having an ill times accident. you see, our penis have taught us lessons.

it is true enough that not all men are good drivers. i have often wondered if they are also poor lovers, or possibly just lacking in adequate genitalia. however, i would argue that even the smallest penis is still larger than the biggest clitoris, giving men, at the very least, a substantial head start.